Tree fort?

In honour of the eve of 2006 I thought I might post. It is 3:30 p.m. and I just finished watching the non-Gwyneth Paltrow version of Emma. The Austen era was certainly (perhaps realistically) cynical about the "church." It would be lovely to see a pastor portrayed as an imperfect shepherd who was certain of the genuine call of God.

So, we have a variety of snacks and delicacies to take us through the day, and threw in an Angus burger cooked on the indoor grill (this time without almost passing out from smoke inhalation.)
I wonder how many Canadian households find themselves attempting to satisfy all their food cravings on this day/night - in order to begin the new year with hope of change.

I was doing some dishes, resolving to come upstairs and get caught up on my bible reading in order to begin the New Year at the beginning. A crazy desire came in to my head. I thought how wonderful it would be to have a platform or primitive tree house high up in the trees - and sit in it bundled up and read my bible while feeling the wind bite (hopefully not seriously) at my cheeks. Do you ever wonder where such ideas come from? We've done absolutely nothing to create privacy (pronounced the British way) in our backyard - we've never been able to justify it, but if someone were to take the decision out of my hands I would love to have a little secret garden. Or so I thought, until today, but obviously my deep seated desire is for a tree fort :o)

May we all be blessed with more hunger for Jesus, and more detachment from worldiness in 2006.

His pleasure and will

I was sitting in an office yesterday waiting for someone and their calendar picture for June was a very colourful toad/frog of some kind, with the expected huge Marty Feldman eyes. (Side-note - "Marty had received a double-whammy. His nose was mangled in his youthful years in a boxing match; his walleyed orbs were the result of both a hyperactive thyroid and a botched operation after a car accident before his 30th birthday, in 1963.")
Anyway, I was thinking about the fact that God made that amphibian for His pleasure. Even the way that he fits into the food chain/ life cycle is ultimately for God's pleasure. The frog exists because God willed that He should - therefore he is not the Captain of his fate.
Another side-note:

Elizabeth Bishop - The Unbeliever

He sleeps on the top of a mast. - Bunyan


He sleeps on the top of a mast
with his eyes fast closed.
The sails fall away below him
like the sheets of his bed,
leaving out in the air of the night the sleeper's head.

Asleep he was transported there,
asleep he curled
in a gilded ball on the mast's top,
or climbed inside
a gilded bird, or blindly seated himself astride.

"I am founded on marble pillars,"
said a cloud.  "I never move.
See the pillars there in the sea?"
Secure in introspection
he peers at the watery pillars of his reflection.

A gull had wings under his
and remarked that the air
was "like marble." He said: "Up here
I tower through the sky
for the marble wings on my tower-top fly."

But he sleeps on the top of his mast
with his eyes closed tight.
The gull inquired into his dream,
which was, "I must not fall.
The spangled sea below wants me to fall.
It is hard as diamonds; it wants to destroy us all."

Back to the toad.  I was led to dwell on the fact that I also was made for God's pleasure and will.  (same thing actually - 2307-thelema)
Isn't it strange - we know this - but there are so many different levels of knowing.  The fact that my flesh can so easily convince me
that I am the centre of the universe...
In my usual googling tangent I've lost sight of what I was hoping to communicate.

So...God has also given some the ability to write poetry - for example my young "brother" Todd.
It is a marvelous gift - and whenever it captures even a smidgeon of truth - it brings Him glory.
(What is the smallest unit of measure for truth ?  A smidgeon?  An iota? )

I hope to do a study on the use of  "thelema" throughout the N.T. - but as you can see - my disjointed scattered train of thought today may interfere.
I also need to study for a final exam, go for a walk, be domestic, be a help-mate, and in all of it - remember that I exist for God's will and pleasure.

The Bee

Saw Joe Boot - what a kick!

Joe Boot spoke at a church in town yesterday. I'd never heard of him, but my dear friend Mel told me he was coming and I am so thankful I heard him. Very articulate defender of the gospel. Yesterday he spoke on apologetics and our origins - takes an unashamed literal view of the biblical account of creation. It was a humbling experience.

Sometimes deep is imagined

Last night I was listening to a variety of Chieftains CD's that my husband's co-worker sent home for me, having heard that I was once a fan. Seemingly enjoying the angst and sadness of some of the tunes I went searching for specific songs on old albums - Art Garfunkel singing 'Barbara Allan', Billy Vera and the Beaters singing 'Hopeless Romantic' (is that an oxymoron?), and Peter Allan singing 'Tenterfield Saddler.' That song pre-dates the web, so I had never thought to check out the lyrics and always wondered at their cryptic meaning.
Google means that there are very few mysteries left:

The Late George Woolnough worked on High Street
And lived on manners
Fifty two years he sat on his verandah and made his saddles
And if you had questions bout sheep or flowers or dogs
You'd just ask the saddler, he lived without sin
They're building a library for him

Time is a traveller
Tenterfield saddler turn your head
Ride again Jackeroo
Think I see Kangaroo up ahead

The son of George Woolnough went off and got married
And had a war baby
Though something went wrong and it's easier to drink than go crazy
And if there were questions bout why the end was so sad
Well, George had no answers bout why a son
Ever had need of a gun

Time is a traveller
Tenterfield Saddler turn your head
Ride again Jackaroo
Think I see Kangaroo up ahead

The grandson of George has been all around the world
And lives no special place
Changed his last name and he married a girl with an interesting face
He'd almost forgotten them both because in the life that he leads
There's no where for George and his library or the son with his gun
To belong except in this song

Time is a meddler
Tenterfield saddler make your bed
Fly again Cockatoo
Down on the ground Emu up ahead

Time is a tale-teller
Tenterfield Saddler make your bed
Fly again Cockatoo
Think I see Kangaroo up ahead

Time is a traveller
Tenterfield Saddler turn your head
Ride again Jackaroo
Think I see Kangaroo up ahead.

It seems so obvious now that I know - The saddler - George was his grandfather , and that is what he did for 52 years in an Australian town called Tenterfield. The son was Peter Allan's father - who had a drinking problem and shot himself. Peter is the grandson who changed his name, and married a girl with an interesting face (Lisa Minelli.)
So, no longer cryptic, but still sad. Peter, himself died of complications related to AIDS in 1992, and apparently is the subject of a musical called The Boy from Oz which I had never heard of until I googled last night. I was musing with a friend last night, wondering what it is in us that finds some kind of perverse pleasure in sad songs.
Well, as Andrew said, I guess I just felt the urge to say "Listen to me, somebody?, anybody?"

It is time, God willing, to prepare my heart for Sunday. I remember my sister lending me a book by Karen Mains about how to do that -for sure it matters to my Sunday how I spend Saturday night.

Personal application of James 4:13-15

Well, I thought I would study all day today. Procrastination.
Woke up with my back in spasms - I can't remember the last time I had a problem with my back.
I've just taken some muscle relaxants, and will now attempt to summon up some discipline and some interest in the study material. If any of it is successful, it will be by God's grace.

Did my usual "skim" read of a book by Kris Lundgaard - "The enemy within", which is a modern look at the material in two books by John Owen: " The Nature, Power, Deceit and Prevalency of the Remainders of Indwelling Sin in Believers", and "The Mortification of Sin".
I believe if I am able to truly meditate on this material and the scripture that it points to, and honestly answer the questions that he asks at the end of each chapter - I will begin to understand the ongoing battle with the enemy within - my flesh.

Praying for all my brothers and sisters in Christ today, that He would bring us to true repentance and a return to our first love.

Desperation - hunger to the point of death

Just heard a revival preacher say that.
Too bad, here I was thinking I was desperate for God, but I sure act like I'm alive and kicking.
This is going to be a very short post - it's beginning to shape up like the one I posted and deleted earlier in the week.
I'm off to study for a mid-term (I hope.)

Rainy days and Mondays always get me ................

If you are willing to date yourself as a Carpenters or Paul Williams fan, you'll know how that line ends.
The only thing shaking my joy today is me - I say one thing, but my thoughts and actions reveal that I am still living under the delusion that "it is all about me."
A family friend was standing at the shoreline in Myrtle Beach yesterday when a large wave knocked her over, resulting in a broken hip. She was airlifted back to Toronto for surgery. We never know what a moment will bring.
I myself would like to be knocked over by a large wave of the Holy Spirit that would leave me broken and humble. I say that - but do I really understand what I am asking for?
I am looking forward to the bible college graduation this Saturday - another opportunity for living vicariously :o) I'm so thankful for the passion of some of God's choice possessions that I have met through the college. I look forward to sharing in their excellent adventures as they follow the call of God around the globe.

To anyone who might learn from my mistakes - past, present and future (sadly)

1. Try to curb any obsessive compulsive tendencies by limiting your reading to 2 books (plus the bible) at any one time - unless you are engaged in academic pursuits.

2. Do not read fictional romance - even if it is masquerading as "Christian fiction." Ditto for "chick flicks" - they paint an unrealistic picture of relationships. One might perhaps make an exception for Princess Bride, just because it is my favourite (although the book was much better.)

3. Remind yourself at least daily that no one except God can meet all your needs. This will be much easier to believe if you've complied with item 2.

4. When tempted to spread yourself too thin, remember that any sequence of priorities that does not list God first, spouse second, everything else following is bound to get you in trouble. God doesn't necessarily mean church.

5. Clothes do not make the person - even if they were an incredible buy at the local thrift store. In fact, even if they were in a grab bag from a dear friend or sister. The fewer items you can be content with, the more time you'll have to spend on meaningful pursuits. Clothes don't maintain themselves, besides which you can reach a point where having too many clothes results in decision paralysis. I guess it's been part of my "the world must revolve around me therefore everyone will notice what I wear to work tomorrow" idiocy.

6. You don't have to tell every detail of the story. You don't have to argue with your spouse as to whether the cat got sick on a Wednesday or Thursday back in 1984. In fact, I learned recently at a workshop on presentation that you should know 100% and teach/share only 20%.
You might also give the man in the pulpit the benefit of the doubt - my husband used to constantly tell me I expected every preacher to share every facet of every doctrine whenever they preached.

7. Some people can live with clutter but hate dirt (as in rings in the toilet bowl, hair in the sink etc.) Others could live in manure but detest any type of clutter - including today's mail on the counter. Of course some people hate both. Find out which type your spouse is, and seek to adapt yourself to their preference.

There are lots of other things I could mention, some have reared their ugly heads even today, but I'll end with

8. Pray constantly that you will not be moved away from a rock solid belief in the sovereignty of God. Period.


Tod, if you read this - I notice Holy War is back on the shelf at church - did you finish it? Are you ready to tutor?

God's glory

Sometimes you have to wonder, can I really write anything which will bring glory to God?
My disappointment in myself and my priorities today is colouring everything.
Clothes don't make the woman, (new or used :o), but send me into a thrift store and you send me into a frenzy of desire.
I finished Ethel Barrett's adaptation of Holy War last night, and was struck by the line "the only thing that truly hurt you is sin." Seems I forgot all about it once I saw the dollar racks.
If anyone ever reads this and thinks "what's the big deal?", I can assure you that the feelings of compulsion I get over a 50 cent used item are as strong or stronger than a Hollywood starlet gets over a $10,000 designer gown.
I am thankful for many things. I am thankful that the God of glory won't allow me to be comfortable with the status quo. I am thankful that I'm not going to any foreign mission field (if at all) until I can learn to fight the "Holy War" within right here.
I am thankful for the young women and men that God has put in my life, and how they expose me to fresh ways of seeing His glory.
I am thankful that tomorrow is the Lord's day, and I will have a chance to sit with my brothers and sisters in the body of Christ and remember Jesus, meditate on His beauty, and be thankful.
I'm off to prepare!

January 2nd - Ice Sunday

Spent part of last evening researching the Sabbath, wanting to understand how God would have us spend the "day a week" in our redeemed post-Calvary lives. This morning the icy conditions meant that I could neither walk nor drive to church.
I am determined to read through the bible this year in a disciplined way, rather than the grazing pattern I fell into last year which John Piper quotes George Mueller as saying leaves us stunted in our growth.
I have not felt this 'lousy' physically for at least 18 months, all owing to the sin of gluttony which I have been flirting with for at least 2 weeks and which reached it's nadir yesterday.
As I read through Genesis, my prayer is that God in His mercy will cause the Holy Spirit to bring His word alive in a new, fresh, permanently life changing way.
Language is still a barrier, I'm trying to read it in NASB, then the Message, then the Childrens bible story book I remember from my childhood (which has lots of assumptions.)
What did God mean when he said "subdue" the earth, if there was no sin or death or eating of meat at the time?